A Variety of Political Humor

Some people believe that if Obama starts becoming the butt of jokes and more comedians begin mocking his ability to win as they did with John Kerry it will be very indicative of a lost election.

With that in mind, here are a collection of jokes from a wide variety of sources and are credited to the sources where known:

"Earlier today, John McCain released 1,200 pages of his medical records. Or, as his doctor calls it, Chapter One." (Conan O'Brien)

"Cindy McCain sprained her wrist. Doctors say it's nothing serious -- she probably did it cutting John McCain's meat into little tiny pieces." (Craig Ferguson)

"Good news for John McCain -- his poll numbers are up 4 percent, liver spots down 3 percent." (Jay Leno)

"Joe Biden is Barack Obama's running mate. Yeah, nothing says change like a guy who's been in the Senate for 35 years." (David Letterman)

"Vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin has many views. She says she's opposed to same-sex marriage. Yeah, Palin says everyone knows marriage isn't for gay people; it's for pregnant teenagers." (Conan O’Brien)

"The McCain people believe Americans will disregard her inexperience because they will fall in love with her story. She was a runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska Pageant, which may sound trite, but you try walking in high-heeled snow shoes." (Bill Maher)

"I saw that they're selling Sarah Palin action figures. Sad incident at Toys R Us today -- a Sarah Palin doll shot My Little Pony. (Jimmy Kimmel)

"We're learning more about Sarah Palin. It turns out she and her entire family once had a chair-throwing brawl on 'Jerry Springer.'" (David Letterman)

"Sources in North Korea say that dictator Kim Jong Il is very sick. He may have to shift power to one of his three sons. Still, there's an out-of-the-box chance he'll pick Sarah Palin." (Conan O'Brien)

"Barack Obama gave a speech in Germany and 200,000 people showed up. There were so many Germans shouting and screaming that France surrendered just in case." (Craig Ferguson)

"They're saying that Barack Obama is starting to slip in the polls. But don't worry. He has a plan. He's going to go back to campaigning in Europe." (David Letterman)

John McCain turned 72 on Friday and apparently decided he deserved a really hot birthday present so he introduced his “Vice President” choice.

John McCain said he had to talk to his wife Cindy before making a final choice for VP. Well, of course he did, the wife always has veto power on any threesome.

Cindy McCain has to be careful. John has a history of dumping his current wife for beauty pageant contestants.

John McCain says he won’t need an intern when he moves in to the Oval Office. He will simply rely on his Vice President.

When John McCain takes office, he intends to be less formal than his predecessors. Instead of “Mr. President,” he’ll have his Vice President call him “Daddy.”

John McCain has denied rumors that if he wins they will start referring to the White House as the Playboy Mansion. He said Hefner has three girlfriends and the Constitution limits him to only one Vice President.