Purity Ball Speech
Fot those interested in reading the challenge given to the dads, below is a copy of the speech given to the them at the Purity Ball. The event was a great success and everyone had a terrific time. If the event helps just one dad or daughter commit or re-commit to their purity, it will be worth the effort.
• Welcome dads and sponsors. This is a great turnout for our 3rd annual Purity Ball
• What an incredible event.
• I applaud your courage in being here tonight especially if this is your first time–––and possibly overcoming some fears of connecting emotionally with your daughters.
• The theme for tonight’s event is Treasures!!
• There's a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the evil villain, holds up a pocket watch.
• He explains to Indiana Jones that the watch has little worth.
• But then he adds, "Bury this in the sand for a thousand years, and it becomes priceless."
• His point is––– that over time–––, even the most insignificant thing––– can take on great value.
• And that is certainly true when it comes to what many of us may take for granted.
• Our relationships with our wives and our daughters.
• There's something special about the relationship between a father and his daughter.
• Dads are her first relationship with a man.
• You Dads––– are one of her first teachers, ––– first friends –––and first role models.
• None of these roles should be taken lightly, ––– because they give you the opportunity to shape your daughter into a wonderful woman.
• Consider these statistics of what our daughters are exposed to:
o 6.6 percent of American children begin their sex lives before age 13; more than 60 percent begin by the time they reach 12th grade
o 86 percent of teenage girls are, ––– or think they should be, dieting
o Anxiety disorders affect an estimated 13 percent of children and adolescents during any given six-month period. The disorders are often not recognized, and most who have them do not receive treatment.
• We Dad’s need to start building a nurturing relationship with our daughters as soon as possible.
• When your daughter was 6 months old, ––– she may not have understood the meaning of life, ––– but she surely knew who her daddy was.
• I ask you today, –––does she still really know who her daddy is?
• She'll never be too young or too old for you to start being the dad God wants you to be.
• Being the father and husband God has commanded you to be is a tough role in this secular world that pulls all of us in the wrong directions
• When a man begins to father a daughter, –––the obstacles may seem insurmountable.
• We fathers––– have no experience in what it's like to grow up as a girl –––and no matter how much we love them and how much we want to connect, –––our growing daughters will sometimes be a complete mystery to us–––just because they're female
• There is typically no one to talk to about being a father or raising a girl
• We're afraid that if we ask our daughters' mothers a basic question, ––– we may get a roll of the eye that injures our egos.
• It's embarrassing to ask our own mothers for advice, ––– and our dads seem to know as little as we do.
• Fathers are stereotyped.
• One minute, fathers are seen as second-class parents ––– invisible or incompetent.
• The next moment, ––– we may be cast as all-knowing superheroes and therefore responsible for all mistakes.
• Which role do we identify with and take on?
• Most folks––– (including us dads) ––– think that Mom is best suited to be the primary and most influential parent.
• That mindset manifests itself everywhere from the teacher to family court.
• Watch any of the sitcoms and you will see us dads as not knowing which end of the baby to put the bottle in –––or as someone who gags when changing a diaper.
• That is the stereotype of “Daddy the dummy” that our culture has created.
• Growing up, we learn that the primary job as fathers is to provide for their family.
• That's a true and good thing for us to learn.
• But too many of us define the word "provide" with our wallet.
• We expect ourselves to spend more time at a paying job than Mom, so that we fulfill our role as provider for our kids
• However, this way of thinking requires a significant tradeoff that we seldom address appropriately.
• To meet that relentless economic provider expectation–––, we spend more time, energy and attention away from home (and our kids) than we should.
• We probably got little help from our own fathers, –––as withdrawal, abandonment and laying down the law––– left little room for father-son conversations or questions about being a dad.
• And compared to what moms usually learn from their mothers and their relatives, we as dads are flying deaf, mute and blind on many occasions.
• But the father's role in a daughter's life is invaluable in molding her future male-female relationships
• Whether your daughters are aware of it or not, ––– they tend to pattern relationships after the model set by you ––– (their fathers.)
• Dad’s are the primary example in a girl's life of how she should be treated by men
• With this important position of being the 'first man'–––comes the ability to set the norm of manliness for her ––– a norm that ultimately can be stronger than what our current society, ––– TV –––and media will tell her.
• The preciousness of the treasure that God bestowed on each of us is an awesome responsibility that we should not take lightly
• God has an end and purpose to which He entrusted our daughters, ––– and a goal to which they ought to be directed.
• Our daughters need good role models –––and if we fail to provide this–––they will be lost.
• Our daughter’s view of God is modeled on how their relationship is with us––– as fathers.
• They will see God as relational if they see us as relational with them and in our marriages
• They will see God as honest if we are honest
• They will see God as kind and caring if we are kind and caring
• And they will see God as approachable and loving if we are approachable and loving
• Dads, did you know that over 160 times in the Bible, God asked—often commanded—to remember?
• In Deuteronomy 32:7, we're encouraged to "Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you."
• Our daughters will remember how they are treated by us –––as fathers.
• They will remember if we are that approachable, loving and caring father and our daughters will base their relationship with God on that.
• God is faithful in our lives and in the lives of our children. –––Holding on and nurturing the relationships with our daughters is a beautiful way to celebrate God's goodness and remember his faithfulness.
PAUSE
• Everyone knows babies love cuddles––– but so does your daughters. ––– Physical touch is part of every relationship ––– whether it’s your wife, children, friends, relatives or coworkers.
• Best friends hug–––, grandmas kiss their grandsons on the forehead –––and coworkers pat each other on the back.
• And so it should be with fathers and daughters.
• As fathers, ––– we may not realize the importance of our relationship with her––– or we may shy away from being too physical because of our inexperience or the preexisting conditioning that this secular world has taught.
• As girls move into adolescence we may find it easier––– to distance ourselves from our daughter's awkward and/or dynamic physical and emotional changes.
• This may result in difficult communication –––and can often make parenting issues more complicated.
• However, ––– this is also the time when our daughters most need us to be an even greater presence in their lives.
• We should generously deliver those hugs and kisses to our daughters.
• They are affirming, ––– warm, ––– full of love –––and provide assurance.
• Appropriate physical intimacy with their Dad’s––– helps girls build trust, and a positive self-image.
• These things are your reminder to them––– that you love them just the way they are.
• Our Teenage daughters straddle the world between being children and adults.
• They are in the middle, desperately trying to figure out their place.
PAUSE
• Before the invention of refrigerators, icehouses were common: small barns with thick walls, no windows, and tightly sealed doors. In wintertime, blocks of ice would be cut out of frozen lakes and stored in them, covered with sawdust to help keep them from melting. The ice would often stay frozen well into the summer months, thus allowing people to preserve perishable food.
• A man who worked in one of these icehouses lost a very valuable pocket watch while working there one day. He quickly began searching for it, combing carefully through the sawdust. Not finding it, he recruited his fellow workers, and all gave the place a thorough investigation. In spite of their efforts, the watch remained hidden. At noon they gave up and went outside to have lunch.
• While they were eating, a small boy slipped into the icehouse. He emerged minutes later, proudly carrying the lost watch. The astonished workers asked how he'd been able to find it.
• "I closed the door, lay down in the sawdust, and kept very still," he replied. "Soon I heard the watch ticking."
• The lesson to learn from this story is: How can I make time for just listening?
• Daughters also need dads that will listen, ––– dads that will allow them to spill their guts completely and know that they can trust you.
• They need dads that they can turn to if they mess up or make a mistake–––and they need Dad’s that say they are sorry if they make a mistake.
• This point is especially relevant in the teenage years.
• Girls are already emotional creatures by nature, but when adolescence hits ––– look out!
• Teenage girls may fret about everything from the color of their nail polish, ––– their clothes and hair, ––– to the uncertainty of their future career.
• We need to Just listen.
• They aren't necessarily hoping you will solve all their problems ––– even if you want to or can-––– they just want you to listen and validate their feelings.
• Are you that Dad?
• Daughters also need Dads that will respect their mother
• Our daughters learn so much more from what we do rather than what we say ––– this is called modeling.
• Our daughters imitate the behaviors of their parents long before they understand the full meaning behind such actions.
• This idea translates to how you treat your daughter's mother
• Treating her with love, dignity, respect and value will speak volumes to your daughter.
• Your daughter will remember––– and she will watch your interactions with other females ––– grandmothers, aunts, sisters ––– and she'll notice if your behavior and verbal exchanges with females are different than those with males.
• It's OK if your rapport is different with women than it is with men, ––– as long as it's positive, appropriate, and Godly.
• She will grow to expect in her relationships what she sees between you and her mother.
• As the primary male role model in a girl's life, –––we fathers can and will influence our daughters in many profound ways
• We will help them develop aspects of self-image –––and what they come to expect from men, society –––and the world.
• Are our relationships everything God intended?
• Are you the husband God wants you to be?
PAUSE
• Our economic situations shouldn't determine our priorities in life.
• Real treasures aren't found in the wallet.
• They're rooted in the most essential relationships we enjoy as human beings: our bond to God, –––our marriages, –––our families, –––and the friends and colleagues around us, ––– no matter what season of life we're in
• Since my purpose is to challenge you dads––– it is necessary for me to point out some things:
• Our Daughters are one of God’s Most Precious Gifts, –––
• They are an invaluable Treasure that requires –––and should Claim Our Most Vigilant Attention
• Our kids are a priceless treasure that God has testified to by saying:
• Psalm 127:3 says “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”
• And when God speaks of His love towards us, he calls us children as if there were no more excellent name by which to allure us…
• (Matt. 6:19-21) says:
• “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"
• We are confronted with a tremendous statement in these passages.
• But the real key part of the passage is in verse 21:
• For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also
• Ask yourself this question in regard to your life:
• If you’d have to choose if something is for you or for God, whom is it usually for?
• That is the real issue.
• It has been said. Show me your calendar and your checkbook and I will show you where your heart and priorities lie.
• Wherever you put your investment that is where you will put your heart.
• If all that you possess is locked up in success, bank accounts, material items, and earthly recognitions, that is where your heart will be
• We're immensely grateful if we are blessed with financial success—but that, in itself, shouldn’t be our goal.
• We know that money alone will never satisfy. We should see money as a tool, not an end.
• What counts is how it is used for eternal purposes.
• If it is in the process of investing in God's causes—, in your marriage —and your children —and especially your daughter, — then that is where your heart will lead and guide you.
• Where is your heart now? — Is God, — your wife and daughter and family truly your treasure?
PAUSE
• During the time outside of this special event, it is easy to lose sight of what is most important to us.
• Having to do even more work than we usually do with our jobs, — family responsibilities can even try a Saint's patience.
• Yet we should not allow life and societies busy schedules —to detract from God’s desires of love, faith, hope and family.
• When you can't agree with people what is right,
• LOVE is always right
• When you lack the patience to deal with everyday pressures, — having FAITH that with perseverance and God’s direction, it will work out
• When you feel like there is just too much to do
• Know that with HOPE and God’s assistance, — you can make the ordinary into something extraordinary.
• And remember that our Families were chosen for us by God. — He chose them for a reason —and placed their successes on us— as husbands and fathers
• In Matthew 16:26, it says “How do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process?”
• Is anything worth more than your soul?
• I challenge each of you
• Be the Dad and Husbands God wants You to Be —and do it NOW!!!
• Welcome dads and sponsors. This is a great turnout for our 3rd annual Purity Ball
• What an incredible event.
• I applaud your courage in being here tonight especially if this is your first time–––and possibly overcoming some fears of connecting emotionally with your daughters.
• The theme for tonight’s event is Treasures!!
• There's a scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark where the evil villain, holds up a pocket watch.
• He explains to Indiana Jones that the watch has little worth.
• But then he adds, "Bury this in the sand for a thousand years, and it becomes priceless."
• His point is––– that over time–––, even the most insignificant thing––– can take on great value.
• And that is certainly true when it comes to what many of us may take for granted.
• Our relationships with our wives and our daughters.
• There's something special about the relationship between a father and his daughter.
• Dads are her first relationship with a man.
• You Dads––– are one of her first teachers, ––– first friends –––and first role models.
• None of these roles should be taken lightly, ––– because they give you the opportunity to shape your daughter into a wonderful woman.
• Consider these statistics of what our daughters are exposed to:
o 6.6 percent of American children begin their sex lives before age 13; more than 60 percent begin by the time they reach 12th grade
o 86 percent of teenage girls are, ––– or think they should be, dieting
o Anxiety disorders affect an estimated 13 percent of children and adolescents during any given six-month period. The disorders are often not recognized, and most who have them do not receive treatment.
• We Dad’s need to start building a nurturing relationship with our daughters as soon as possible.
• When your daughter was 6 months old, ––– she may not have understood the meaning of life, ––– but she surely knew who her daddy was.
• I ask you today, –––does she still really know who her daddy is?
• She'll never be too young or too old for you to start being the dad God wants you to be.
• Being the father and husband God has commanded you to be is a tough role in this secular world that pulls all of us in the wrong directions
• When a man begins to father a daughter, –––the obstacles may seem insurmountable.
• We fathers––– have no experience in what it's like to grow up as a girl –––and no matter how much we love them and how much we want to connect, –––our growing daughters will sometimes be a complete mystery to us–––just because they're female
• There is typically no one to talk to about being a father or raising a girl
• We're afraid that if we ask our daughters' mothers a basic question, ––– we may get a roll of the eye that injures our egos.
• It's embarrassing to ask our own mothers for advice, ––– and our dads seem to know as little as we do.
• Fathers are stereotyped.
• One minute, fathers are seen as second-class parents ––– invisible or incompetent.
• The next moment, ––– we may be cast as all-knowing superheroes and therefore responsible for all mistakes.
• Which role do we identify with and take on?
• Most folks––– (including us dads) ––– think that Mom is best suited to be the primary and most influential parent.
• That mindset manifests itself everywhere from the teacher to family court.
• Watch any of the sitcoms and you will see us dads as not knowing which end of the baby to put the bottle in –––or as someone who gags when changing a diaper.
• That is the stereotype of “Daddy the dummy” that our culture has created.
• Growing up, we learn that the primary job as fathers is to provide for their family.
• That's a true and good thing for us to learn.
• But too many of us define the word "provide" with our wallet.
• We expect ourselves to spend more time at a paying job than Mom, so that we fulfill our role as provider for our kids
• However, this way of thinking requires a significant tradeoff that we seldom address appropriately.
• To meet that relentless economic provider expectation–––, we spend more time, energy and attention away from home (and our kids) than we should.
• We probably got little help from our own fathers, –––as withdrawal, abandonment and laying down the law––– left little room for father-son conversations or questions about being a dad.
• And compared to what moms usually learn from their mothers and their relatives, we as dads are flying deaf, mute and blind on many occasions.
• But the father's role in a daughter's life is invaluable in molding her future male-female relationships
• Whether your daughters are aware of it or not, ––– they tend to pattern relationships after the model set by you ––– (their fathers.)
• Dad’s are the primary example in a girl's life of how she should be treated by men
• With this important position of being the 'first man'–––comes the ability to set the norm of manliness for her ––– a norm that ultimately can be stronger than what our current society, ––– TV –––and media will tell her.
• The preciousness of the treasure that God bestowed on each of us is an awesome responsibility that we should not take lightly
• God has an end and purpose to which He entrusted our daughters, ––– and a goal to which they ought to be directed.
• Our daughters need good role models –––and if we fail to provide this–––they will be lost.
• Our daughter’s view of God is modeled on how their relationship is with us––– as fathers.
• They will see God as relational if they see us as relational with them and in our marriages
• They will see God as honest if we are honest
• They will see God as kind and caring if we are kind and caring
• And they will see God as approachable and loving if we are approachable and loving
• Dads, did you know that over 160 times in the Bible, God asked—often commanded—to remember?
• In Deuteronomy 32:7, we're encouraged to "Remember the days of old; consider the generations long past. Ask your father and he will tell you, your elders, and they will explain to you."
• Our daughters will remember how they are treated by us –––as fathers.
• They will remember if we are that approachable, loving and caring father and our daughters will base their relationship with God on that.
• God is faithful in our lives and in the lives of our children. –––Holding on and nurturing the relationships with our daughters is a beautiful way to celebrate God's goodness and remember his faithfulness.
PAUSE
• Everyone knows babies love cuddles––– but so does your daughters. ––– Physical touch is part of every relationship ––– whether it’s your wife, children, friends, relatives or coworkers.
• Best friends hug–––, grandmas kiss their grandsons on the forehead –––and coworkers pat each other on the back.
• And so it should be with fathers and daughters.
• As fathers, ––– we may not realize the importance of our relationship with her––– or we may shy away from being too physical because of our inexperience or the preexisting conditioning that this secular world has taught.
• As girls move into adolescence we may find it easier––– to distance ourselves from our daughter's awkward and/or dynamic physical and emotional changes.
• This may result in difficult communication –––and can often make parenting issues more complicated.
• However, ––– this is also the time when our daughters most need us to be an even greater presence in their lives.
• We should generously deliver those hugs and kisses to our daughters.
• They are affirming, ––– warm, ––– full of love –––and provide assurance.
• Appropriate physical intimacy with their Dad’s––– helps girls build trust, and a positive self-image.
• These things are your reminder to them––– that you love them just the way they are.
• Our Teenage daughters straddle the world between being children and adults.
• They are in the middle, desperately trying to figure out their place.
PAUSE
• Before the invention of refrigerators, icehouses were common: small barns with thick walls, no windows, and tightly sealed doors. In wintertime, blocks of ice would be cut out of frozen lakes and stored in them, covered with sawdust to help keep them from melting. The ice would often stay frozen well into the summer months, thus allowing people to preserve perishable food.
• A man who worked in one of these icehouses lost a very valuable pocket watch while working there one day. He quickly began searching for it, combing carefully through the sawdust. Not finding it, he recruited his fellow workers, and all gave the place a thorough investigation. In spite of their efforts, the watch remained hidden. At noon they gave up and went outside to have lunch.
• While they were eating, a small boy slipped into the icehouse. He emerged minutes later, proudly carrying the lost watch. The astonished workers asked how he'd been able to find it.
• "I closed the door, lay down in the sawdust, and kept very still," he replied. "Soon I heard the watch ticking."
• The lesson to learn from this story is: How can I make time for just listening?
• Daughters also need dads that will listen, ––– dads that will allow them to spill their guts completely and know that they can trust you.
• They need dads that they can turn to if they mess up or make a mistake–––and they need Dad’s that say they are sorry if they make a mistake.
• This point is especially relevant in the teenage years.
• Girls are already emotional creatures by nature, but when adolescence hits ––– look out!
• Teenage girls may fret about everything from the color of their nail polish, ––– their clothes and hair, ––– to the uncertainty of their future career.
• We need to Just listen.
• They aren't necessarily hoping you will solve all their problems ––– even if you want to or can-––– they just want you to listen and validate their feelings.
• Are you that Dad?
• Daughters also need Dads that will respect their mother
• Our daughters learn so much more from what we do rather than what we say ––– this is called modeling.
• Our daughters imitate the behaviors of their parents long before they understand the full meaning behind such actions.
• This idea translates to how you treat your daughter's mother
• Treating her with love, dignity, respect and value will speak volumes to your daughter.
• Your daughter will remember––– and she will watch your interactions with other females ––– grandmothers, aunts, sisters ––– and she'll notice if your behavior and verbal exchanges with females are different than those with males.
• It's OK if your rapport is different with women than it is with men, ––– as long as it's positive, appropriate, and Godly.
• She will grow to expect in her relationships what she sees between you and her mother.
• As the primary male role model in a girl's life, –––we fathers can and will influence our daughters in many profound ways
• We will help them develop aspects of self-image –––and what they come to expect from men, society –––and the world.
• Are our relationships everything God intended?
• Are you the husband God wants you to be?
PAUSE
• Our economic situations shouldn't determine our priorities in life.
• Real treasures aren't found in the wallet.
• They're rooted in the most essential relationships we enjoy as human beings: our bond to God, –––our marriages, –––our families, –––and the friends and colleagues around us, ––– no matter what season of life we're in
• Since my purpose is to challenge you dads––– it is necessary for me to point out some things:
• Our Daughters are one of God’s Most Precious Gifts, –––
• They are an invaluable Treasure that requires –––and should Claim Our Most Vigilant Attention
• Our kids are a priceless treasure that God has testified to by saying:
• Psalm 127:3 says “Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.”
• And when God speaks of His love towards us, he calls us children as if there were no more excellent name by which to allure us…
• (Matt. 6:19-21) says:
• “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"
• We are confronted with a tremendous statement in these passages.
• But the real key part of the passage is in verse 21:
• For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also
• Ask yourself this question in regard to your life:
• If you’d have to choose if something is for you or for God, whom is it usually for?
• That is the real issue.
• It has been said. Show me your calendar and your checkbook and I will show you where your heart and priorities lie.
• Wherever you put your investment that is where you will put your heart.
• If all that you possess is locked up in success, bank accounts, material items, and earthly recognitions, that is where your heart will be
• We're immensely grateful if we are blessed with financial success—but that, in itself, shouldn’t be our goal.
• We know that money alone will never satisfy. We should see money as a tool, not an end.
• What counts is how it is used for eternal purposes.
• If it is in the process of investing in God's causes—, in your marriage —and your children —and especially your daughter, — then that is where your heart will lead and guide you.
• Where is your heart now? — Is God, — your wife and daughter and family truly your treasure?
PAUSE
• During the time outside of this special event, it is easy to lose sight of what is most important to us.
• Having to do even more work than we usually do with our jobs, — family responsibilities can even try a Saint's patience.
• Yet we should not allow life and societies busy schedules —to detract from God’s desires of love, faith, hope and family.
• When you can't agree with people what is right,
• LOVE is always right
• When you lack the patience to deal with everyday pressures, — having FAITH that with perseverance and God’s direction, it will work out
• When you feel like there is just too much to do
• Know that with HOPE and God’s assistance, — you can make the ordinary into something extraordinary.
• And remember that our Families were chosen for us by God. — He chose them for a reason —and placed their successes on us— as husbands and fathers
• In Matthew 16:26, it says “How do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process?”
• Is anything worth more than your soul?
• I challenge each of you
• Be the Dad and Husbands God wants You to Be —and do it NOW!!!
posted by Anonymous at 5:53 AM
1 Comments:
It was a great challenge and an even more inspiring event. Dan has shown a great deal of vision and I pray that it will impact generations of girls and dads. I know it was more than I expected and more important to my girls than they wanted to admit going into the event. They were, however, moved and inspired. Thanks for your leadership.
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