Girls sexual health
Only having 1 daughter and 3 sons, I feel very strongly that the Purity Ball is a wonderful event. It gives fathers and daughters the opportunity to spend quality time with their daughters and opens up dialogue for what is typically a taboo subject.
For many of these girls, this event is like their first prom. And who better to take you than your dad.
We have had dads with limited relationships bring their daughters over the past two years and both stated how special it was to reconnect.
A study in Child Development showed that teenage girls in the United States and New Zealand have a particularly strong tendency to engage in sexual activity and to get pregnant if they grew up in families without a father present.
Other studies also have shown that early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy is higher among girls who grow up from infancy without a father. But in many of these studies, the researchers have generally assumed that precocious sexuality results from a mix of adverse influences, including a father's absence, divorce, poverty, and the lack of parental guidance.
In this particular study, among the U.S. girls, a father's absence was associated with his daughter's sexual activity before age 16 and teenage pregnancy regardless of other adversities.
In this study, both USA and New Zealand showed the rates of teenage pregnancy were highest among girls who had lived in single-parent homes the longest. The teen pregnancy rate was nearly 8 times as high among girls who were no more than 5 years old when their fathers departed as among girls in two-parent families. The pregnancy rate among girls who were between 6 and 13 years old when their fathers left was about 3 times that of two-parent teens.
What is sad, is to hear those in academia make statements such as psychologist Sara R Jaffee of the Institute of Psychiatry in London when she said; "It's surprising to find such a specific relationship between absent fathers and girls' later sexual behavior," “A father's presence doesn't always serve children well”
She is correct that a father who is abusive, impulsive, irritable, and often violent may not be best for the children, but no one argues that point. The point to be made is that girls need fathers who are loving, patient, kind and supportive. That is what we should encourage, support and expect.
Bruce J. Ellis of the University of Canterbury in New Zealand and his coworkers stated that "These findings may support social policies that encourage fathers to form and remain in families with their children, unless the marriage is highly [conflicted] or violent,"
I am hopeful that this event locally will also impact our community and be a positive influence on these girls, their dads, and their families.
For many of these girls, this event is like their first prom. And who better to take you than your dad.
We have had dads with limited relationships bring their daughters over the past two years and both stated how special it was to reconnect.
A study in Child Development showed that teenage girls in the United States and New Zealand have a particularly strong tendency to engage in sexual activity and to get pregnant if they grew up in families without a father present.
Other studies also have shown that early sexual activity and teenage pregnancy is higher among girls who grow up from infancy without a father. But in many of these studies, the researchers have generally assumed that precocious sexuality results from a mix of adverse influences, including a father's absence, divorce, poverty, and the lack of parental guidance.
In this particular study, among the U.S. girls, a father's absence was associated with his daughter's sexual activity before age 16 and teenage pregnancy regardless of other adversities.
In this study, both USA and New Zealand showed the rates of teenage pregnancy were highest among girls who had lived in single-parent homes the longest. The teen pregnancy rate was nearly 8 times as high among girls who were no more than 5 years old when their fathers departed as among girls in two-parent families. The pregnancy rate among girls who were between 6 and 13 years old when their fathers left was about 3 times that of two-parent teens.
What is sad, is to hear those in academia make statements such as psychologist Sara R Jaffee of the Institute of Psychiatry in London when she said; "It's surprising to find such a specific relationship between absent fathers and girls' later sexual behavior," “A father's presence doesn't always serve children well”
She is correct that a father who is abusive, impulsive, irritable, and often violent may not be best for the children, but no one argues that point. The point to be made is that girls need fathers who are loving, patient, kind and supportive. That is what we should encourage, support and expect.
Bruce J. Ellis of the University of Canterbury in New Zealand and his coworkers stated that "These findings may support social policies that encourage fathers to form and remain in families with their children, unless the marriage is highly [conflicted] or violent,"
I am hopeful that this event locally will also impact our community and be a positive influence on these girls, their dads, and their families.
posted by Anonymous at 6:10 AM
4 Comments:
Brandon noted:
The only thing I would question about the "purity ball" would be the name. I think one can, like I do, advocate a level of abstinence until marriage (or at least maturity) without suggesting that girls who have sex otherwise are "impure" or that sex is somehow dirty.
Thank you for that. This is precisely the point we discussed last evening in the Confidential household.
We just couldn't put our collective finger on what was troubling about this concept, but now I get it. It's the name, and for the reason you state.
It's like adding a component of ideology not merited by the efficacy of the concept.
Might it have something to do with the way that "purity" as a word has been co-opted by lingering association with "racial purity" and other similar constructions?
Don't misunderstand me (unless, of course, you're a SOLNA reader, in which case it's required as part of your membership dues) -- I've nothing to say against the notion of encouraging abstinence in teens so long as we're ready to acknowledge that nature often has a different agenda, and to recognize that reality.
But I share with Brandon a raised eyebrow over the use of the word purity.
Your remarks are intriguing. When you say "one can advocate a level of abstinence until marriage", what level do you refer to. Abstinence is the goal. It is an all or none phenomenon and we either advocate it or we don't.
Sexual purity is a statement of virginity. It does not state that sex is dirty or that the individual is impure in anything other than her virginity. Striving for abstinence and all the positives this provides shouldn’t be undermined because the terminology may hurt one’s sensitivity.
We all are impure in certain areas of our lives. I wish I could say I never had an impure thought, but I can’t. This doesn’t necessarily make me a bad person; just an imperfect sinner. I strive to do better and hope I can help my kids not make similar mistakes. I want other parents and individual to strive for this goal as well.
I see no rational explanation for arguing against setting abstinence as the goal. Abstinence protects from many, many heartaches, emotional strains and physical ailments. Once virginity is lost, it can never be regained. Is this not something worth encouraging?
As far as boys are concerned, we have struggled with what to offer. Unlike girls who like to dress up, there is nothing really universal that all boys like to do. Some like sports, others camping, some like video games and others music. But we continue to work on different ideas to stress the importance of their purity as well.
Any idea is welcomed.
I also agree with education both in and out of school and age appropriate. But even with education, my ultimate standard is abstinence, knowing that many will fall short but have the knowledge available to protect themselves.
In my practice, I am not “hung up” on mature people having sex outside of marriage, but I can tell you I see the devastation every day to the individuals when it doesn’t work out. Sex cannot be separated from emotions and relationships for 90 plus percent of women and many men and therefore it causes much heartache, stress, and depression even in mature adults.
Sex is more than just a physical act for most women.
Sex is more than just a physical act for most women.
Huh?
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